Even Oprah Did It...
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A few weeks ago, a friend of mine confessed she was a fake.
She said that when she was out of her depth or wasn't sure what
to
do, she would "pretend to be someone else and imagine what
they
would do in that situation".
I couldn't help having a little chuckle - out of relief.
Then, I told her it was a brilliant strategy and she ought
to
be pleased with herself for such innovative thinking!
In fact, I often encourage the clients I coach to do just that
when
they feel stuck and don't know what to do next.
Even the Queen of Talk Show, Oprah Winfrey, did it...
At age 19, when she first started working in television, Oprah
was
nervous, terrified and felt insecure in front of the
camera.
Talking about her first television job, she said "I decided
to
pretend to be Barbara Walters... So I sat there, pretending,
with
Barbara in my head. Did everything I thought she would do. And
I
was hired. It's amazing".
She continued imagining herself to be Barbara Walters through
the
initial stages of her career when she did not have much
experience.
Eventually she developed her own style and became the "Oprah"
we
see on TV.
Now she is a billionaire, a magazine publisher and hosts
the
highest rated talk show in television history amongst other
achievements. CNN and Time described her as "arguably the
world's
most influential woman". Not bad at all!
When I ask my clients to temporarily act as if they were
someone
they admired, the intention is to help them move beyond
their
current perceptions about their own capabilities.
In doing so, they generate new solutions and ideas to
challenges they may have
otherwise given up on.
Can think of situations where you could apply this
strategy?
Here are a few examples...
Example One
Are you tired being uncomfortable in social
situations?
Pretend being like someone you know who engages others
effectively.
How would they stand or hold themselves? What might they
say when
they meet someone for the first time? What would they sound
like
when they talk?
Example Two
Trudging to a job you dislike?
It's a good source of income but you're starting to feel
like the
living dead.
Think of someone who is passionate about what they
do. How would
they get their career on track? What type of external help
might
they seek? What opportunities might they create from the
situation
you find yourself in?
Example Three
A misunderstanding with someone you know is spiralling out
of
control.
Other friends in your social group have become involved
and are starting to take sides. You're at a loss as to what to
do
so you have avoided addressing the problem so far.
Think of someone you personally know, or a public figure who is
an
expert in relationships. Imagine stepping into their
shoes for a
moment.
How might they view the situation? What course of action
would
they take to alleviate the conflict? Would advice might they
give
you?
The next time you are tempted to walk away from a situation
because
you have run out of options, just imagine all the fun you could
be
having, if like Oprah, you momentarily acted as if you were
someone
you admired.
Until next time, all the best!
Kathleen Alexander
Clever Fox
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