CleverNews - The E-Newsletter That Shows You How To Coach Yourself And Others From Kathleen Alexander and CleverNews To change your subscription details or to unsubscribe, see link at the bottom of this email. This Week's Issue: Even Oprah Did It... -------------------------------------------------------------------- A few weeks ago, a friend of mine confessed she was a fake. She said that when she was out of her depth or wasn't sure what to do, she would "pretend to be someone else and imagine what they would do in that situation". I couldn't help having a little chuckle - out of relief. Then, I told her it was a brilliant strategy and she ought to be pleased with herself for such innovative thinking! In fact, I often encourage the clients I coach to do just that when they feel stuck and don't know what to do next. Even the Queen of Talk Show, Oprah Winfrey, did it... At age 19, when she first started working in television, Oprah was nervous, terrified and felt insecure in front of the camera. Talking about her first television job, she said "I decided to pretend to be Barbara Walters... So I sat there, pretending, with Barbara in my head. Did everything I thought she would do. And I was hired. It's amazing". She continued imagining herself to be Barbara Walters through the initial stages of her career when she did not have much experience. Eventually she developed her own style and became the "Oprah" we see on TV. Now she is a billionaire, a magazine publisher and hosts the highest rated talk show in television history amongst other achievements. CNN and Time described her as "arguably the world's most influential woman". Not bad at all! When I ask my clients to temporarily act as if they were someone they admired, the intention is to help them move beyond their current perceptions about their own capabilities. In doing so, they generate new solutions and ideas to challenges they may have otherwise given up on. Can think of situations where you could apply this strategy? Here are a few examples... Example One Are you tired being uncomfortable in social situations? Pretend being like someone you know who engages others effectively. How would they stand or hold themselves? What might they say when they meet someone for the first time? What would they sound like when they talk? Example Two Trudging to a job you dislike?
It's a good source of income but you're starting to feel like the living dead. Think of someone who is passionate about what they do. How would they get their career on track? What type of external help might they seek? What opportunities might they create from the situation you find yourself in? Example Three A misunderstanding with someone you know is spiralling out of control. Other friends in your social group have become involved and are starting to take sides. You're at a loss as to what to do so you have avoided addressing the problem so far. Think of someone you personally know, or a public figure who is an expert in relationships. Imagine stepping into their shoes for a moment. How might they view the situation? What course of action would they take to alleviate the conflict? Would advice might they give you?
The next time you are tempted to walk away from a situation because you have run out of options, just imagine all the fun you could be having, if like Oprah, you momentarily acted as if you were someone you admired. Until next time, all the best! Kathleen Alexander Clever Fox
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